I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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