i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
