I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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