i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
