A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
