I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
