The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
