hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Who died my cat blue again?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
