I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
