thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
