im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
