conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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