You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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