Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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