I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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