so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
