The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize