Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
