Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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