Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
