she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
