my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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