its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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