Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
