I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize