i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize