my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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