How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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