My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
