And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
