If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
