drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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