the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My balls are so social today.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
