i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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