Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
