Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
