Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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