you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
