We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize