It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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