Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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