Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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