I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
