I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
