Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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