we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
