we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
