We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Operation Purity has been aborted
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
