I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
