If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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