her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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