Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
