But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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