you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
