Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
