Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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