dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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