hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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