Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
