dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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