I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
