Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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