my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
