she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
