I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
