I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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