I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
