So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
