U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
