can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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