Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
