I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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