so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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