Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you had me at cake vodka
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
