Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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