i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
